its a teen thing

WHY IS IT THAT SOME PEOPLE SERIOUSLY FEEL THAT ITS OKAY TO MAKE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT THE PERFECT SIZE OR HAVNT GOT THE CLEAREST SKIN OR SOMETHING ALONG THAT LINE FEEL LIKE SO SMALL AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY. SERIOUSLY WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE..?  WHAT GIVES YOU THE FRICKING RIGHT TO GO AROUND LOOKING YOU SNOBBY LITTLE NOSE DOWN ON OTHER PEOPLE. WELL NEWS FLASH, REALITY CHECK GROW THE HELL UP..YOUR NO BETTER THEN ANYONE! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR BUTT AND GO SEE A SPEACILIST. TALK TO PEOPLE WHO FEEL SO DOWN BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND REALLY SEE HOW THEY FEEL! THEN GO AND TELL SOMEBODY THEY'LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH KNOWING HTE HURT YOU CAUSE! IT MAKES ME FEEL SO ANGRY AND SICK.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO YOU THINK ITS OK TO DO THIS ? ITS NOT. YOUR WORDS COULD BE THE END OF SOMEONE. UGH.

catching up on work exp

I had so much fun at the nursery. It was utterly amazing, it made me love kids more. The thing is i got to attached to most of the kids especially this little boy called Dallas and on my last day and he wasnt there i was kinda sad, but i had a whole lot of other kids to help out, By the end of friday the teacher says 'Know can anybody see somebody who has been here all week helping and playing with you guys' and they all point to me..then she says 'that's right, well its her last day today and what she doesnt know is that weve been working on a surprise for her' and two little children gave me a handmade card with some of the kids names in it, and a little box of choclates..i almost cried it was so lovley! i miss the dearly and was very sad monday morning sitting in dreary form! was so upsetting.

  So i wont to become a nursery teacher and i tell you what it was looking like it was my final decision, until my mother said that she'd rather i go for reception or year one. She wont stop telling me this so looks like shes made up my mind for me. once again.
     And i get she only wonts whats best for me, but i wont the indipendance and oppotunity to decide for myself. So i dont know.


Only 1 week&5days until the summer holidays AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH so excited to have a big big break for school, its so overhwelming now days. Then ill be in my last year its gone so quickly:)

workexp

so i didnt stay true to my word. im sorry. So the second day both the morning group and afternoon group had two workshop dance things waiting for them in the hall, so after getting about 17 shoes and socks of 4 year olds we had to do some balley and jungle fun. I tell you what no matter how much you tell 4 year old boys that ballay is not just for girls and they can be big boy fairys they will not have it!... ontop of that it was a really hot day and the teachers expected me to do this aswell..i was in a skirt hopping around 4 year olds trying to be a frog. SO this was pretty much the second day. The third days was basically normal playing and fun i was put in charge of rock painting. AND today was my fave, i think i made a bond with some certain children :3 i never have had so many cuddles in my life, i just love it...im going to be so sad leaving tommorow D: and i told some of the kids today that tommorow was my last day and a few nearly started crying (wow i sound like im braging) but i just love them, im so attached :(, anyway i will write tommorow


much love xoxox

work experience day uno

I was dreading work experience and i was so nervous i thouight the other school people would be really stuck up and their actualy quite nice i know two of them from when we went to school together. So i went back to my old middle school which had been turned into a primary school, but anyway, when we got there we had to sign in and then we'd be took to the library where all the work experience people were and we all had to sit around this long table and we where joint by the headteacher, she handed us our badges and our bookl;ets (health&saftey, (& two others) oh my goodness the size of them where MASSIVE, and she took us through the rules what we can and cant do with the children and on one of the sheets it told us where we were going, now i really wonted a younger year and luckily i got nursery which is english for kindergarden or pre'k, so im with like a morning group of like 5 year olds then and then when they go home at dinner time we get younger kids which range from like 4-5 i think. But it was so much better then what i thought and the teachers where so nice. i really wanna type up some of the things that happend and where actually quite funny but i dont think im allowed so ill leave that. Anyhow nursery kids play play play all day with the ocaitional story, but i swear its kiddy heave in that area. I was given the tour they have there own bathroom, a snack table full of cucumber, apples, oranges and runnerbeans and a mini fridge full of milk and they can go whenever they wont they have so many toys and things to do, and then they go outside too where theirs a massive sand piut water troughs obsticle things and really cool things to play with, so i had to get to know the kids today which was kind of aqwerd, they dont remeber my name so they call me teacher, but in the afternnon the teachers fount out that offstead where coming tommorow so they where flapping abit about that which was very understandable so anyhow i got stuck sharpening pencils the whole afternnon because thats what offstead ceck apparently little things like that, over 100 chunky pencils were in that basket..the blisters on my thumbs and fingers are massive. After today ive decided i wont to go into teaching but reception years which is a year older the nursery and im pretty set on it. So we'll see what tommorow bring :)

im loving the working life :D

times gone by

IM BACK YEY.
Seriously doubt alot of people noticed i was gone like but still i can try ayy!

reasons for not writing.

1. i really couldnt be botherd
2. had so much going on
3. no time
4. i suck
5. wasnt feeling the inspiration

SO anyway im back and have alot of things to say.

SCHOOL CAN SUCK MY BIG TOE
i am so angry with my fricking schoool seriously why does it feel the need to try and make every singloe one of us perfect, how dare they tell us to express ourselfs when were not allowed to do anything,. not aloud to have multitoned hair, not allowed jewlery, not aloud bright makeup only natural colours, have to wear a specific tyupe of sock, no nail polish, it comptley sucks. I have work experience starting tommorow for five days, im dreading it, id be fine if we wasnt with anouther school who is SO STUCK UP THEY MAKE THE QUEEN LOOK LIKE A CHAV! so im going to a primary school which my younger sister bean goes to and im with some friends so i hope it wont be that bad. im just scared in case i get a quesation wrong LOL.

PHOBIA.
 So i have a serious phobia of people being sick which resorts into a panickattack/breakdown no jokes. i went to councilling for it a while back and that was a disaster, she was a trainie that was absolutley was RUBBISH at everything and treated me like i was 5 ugh. She made me was videos of people being sick which included drunk people, fake people, cats  & these two aussie girls who drank raw eggs to make themselves sick in a little tin, this included close ups of there sick..it was pointless&rank (yes this is on youtube:|) but anyway after long weeks of councilling i was so not over it. But after a while i convinced myself i was over it and i was doing really well until the other night. My friends 15th birthday was going so amazingly at the theme park and then a lovley meal..then we slept over at her house like 5 of us and her friend come over too, now they had planned to 'booze iut up' so i went along with it and because me and keelie were quite badly sunburnt keelie ends up gett8ing sunstroke so my inicial thoughts of when i had sunstroke were 'SICK' & then her friend had been drinking two nights before andburped and bought up wkd and chrisps, and i felt like i was going to break down and have a pancik attack so i called my mother to come pick me up so i wouldnt ruin anyones night, so i got my stuff and went home. i swear to god i broke down in tears because i felt like such a downer and this phobia is ruining my life completley, so now ive told mum that im going back to the counciller and i planned to get hypnotised. I seriously hope this works this time because i cant go on living with this. It puts so many limits on my life. IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING SIMILAR TO WHAT I HAVE PLEASE TELL ME ID LOVE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT, AS I NOW NOBODY WHO KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE PEOPLE LAUGH IN YOUR FACE AND NOT REALISE HOW SERIOUS THIS IS. OR IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY SUPPORT SITES OR ANYTHING PLEASE TELL ME. CONTACT DETAILS WILL BE AT THE END OF THE POST.


I had so many things to blog abouttoday and now ive gone blank. ahhweeell. i apoligise for the spelling mistakes as this is rushed and i cba to spell check it :')

I WILL POST EVERYDAY ABOUT WORK EXPERIENCE, SO READ ON FEW BUT SPEACIAL READERS THAT I HAVE!!


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MUCH APPRECIATED XXXX